It wasn’t an easy task, pulling just ten names out of all the celebrity baby names of 2006. There were so many great ones to choose from. But in the end, I had to stick with criteria like newsworthiness (Suri etc), and weirdness (Penn Jillette again!), with a dash of trend-spotting thrown in for good measure.
But most of all, it was a lot of fun coming up with the ten most notable names, remembering the funny times, like when everyone discovered that Sutton Pierce was really Jayden James, or when the name Suri turned out to mean “pointy-nosed” in the Toda language of southern India. It was a great year!
So — the drum roll please, and starting in tenth place, herewith is my annual Ten Most Notable Celebrity Baby Names of 2006:
# 10. Tennyson.
The son of Russell Crowe and Danielle Spencer. Russell Crowe is supposedly a big fan of the 19th century British poet, Alfred, Lord Tennyson. If it’s true, Crowe is the only person since Queen Victoria to admire Tennyson. Generations of British schoolchildren learned to hate the stuffy poet, and it’s likely that Crowe, Jr. will also.
# 9. Jessie James.
Daughter (one of twins) born to media mogul Diddy and his girlfriend Kim Porter. It’s not every day a little girl is given the same name as famous outlaw Jesse James. According to a Diddy spokesperson, the name was in honor of Diddy’s grandmother, Jessie.
# 8. Thijs.
How do you pronounce ‘Thijs?’ Good question. Today Show host Matt Lauer and wife Annette Roque slapped the unpronounceable moniker on their newborn son in November. Why? Well, because Annette is Dutch, and ‘Thijs’ is an abbreviation of the shortened Dutch variant of Matthew. And it’s pronounced Tice. Why not just name him Matt Junior?
# 7. Johnnie Rose.
Before you leap to conclusions, Johnnie Rose is the daughter of Melissa Etheridge & Tammy Lynn Michaels. Johnnie may be an unusual name for a girl, but when did being unusual ever stop a celebrity? Little Johnnie Rose is named in honor of Melissa Etheridge’s father, who, according to a post on Tammy Lynn Michael’s blog, was a very important figure in her early life.
# 6. Zolten.
No celebrity baby name list is complete without a clanger from Penn Jillette and wife Emily Zolten. Last year, they named their daughter Moxie Crimefighter. This year, they named their son ‘Zolten,’ which happens to be Mrs. Jillette’s maiden name. And they would have gotten away with it, except that in explaining their choice, Jillette stated that “most importantly, it’s the name of Dracula’s dog. And that’s the meaning that has stuck.
# 5.Moses.
When Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin named their son Moses, it left many observers puzzled. Why? Back in 2004 they named their daughter Apple. Did they now pick an ultra-traditional name to compensate? Sadly, it doesn’t seem to have worked. Now all anyone can focus on is the sibling combination they have created. As in, “hi, please meet our two kids, Apple and Moses.” It just doesn’t work. Maybe Penn Jillette is on the right track. Give the first one a weird name, give ‘em all a weird name.
# 4. Dannielynn Hope.
In September, the tragic death of Anna Nicole Smith’s 20 year-old son touched everyone. In the soap opera of Anna Nicole’s life, it seemed that Daniel was an innocent bystander. Smith’s daughter was born a few days before Daniel’s death, and by naming her Dannielynn Hope, in honor of a brother she will never know, Smith at least did one thing well.
# 3. Jayden James.
Is it Sutton? Is it Jesse? Is it a boy? Is it a girl? September was a month of frenzied speculation, as everyone awaited the birth of Britney Spears’s and Kevin Federline’s second child. First, everyone thought ‘he’ would be a ’she’. Wrong. Then everyone thought his name was Sutton Pierce. Wrong again. But more than a month passed before the world learned the shocking truth: little Sutton Pierce was really named Jayden James. Jayden means ‘Thankful’ in Hebrew. The little guy is likely be anything but thankful, when he’s old enough to understand where he landed.
# 2. Suri.
In April, Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes announced the birth of their daughter, Suri. What did ‘Suri’ mean? Experts from Israel were consulted, when it appeared that ‘Suri’ meant ‘get lost’ in Hebrew. Other meanings surfaced from around the globe. It meant ‘rose’ in Persian; â’sun’ in Sanskrit; it was a Pashtun tribe in India, and a ‘pickpocket’ in Japan. No-one knew what to believe. Then, it was revealed that ‘Suri’ meant ‘pointy-nosed’ among the Toda people of southern India. Suri’s stock was sinking fast. So Tom and Katie, Inc. went into full damage-control mode. October’s Vanity Fair magazine was graced with a touching photo spread that portrayed little Suri with her doting parents. It worked. Everyone now loves little Suri. Even though no-one still knows what the name really means.
# 1. Shiloh Nouvel.
Only the second coming of the Messiah could rival the media hysteria of May, 2006, as the world waited for Angelina to give birth. For weeks, Brad and Angelina had co-opted the entire African nation of Namibia, as their personal maternity ward. The world’s press was agog with excitement. When little Shiloh finally arrived, nobody cared that much about her name. What the world cared about was that the waiting was over, and Angelina had really had her baby. The planet released its collective breath, which it had been holding for several weeks. The baby was finally here. Who cared if a few party poopers associated ‘Shiloh’ was some bloodstained Civil War battlefield? Brad and Angelina had picked the name, and therefore it was good. The most-anticipated baby in human history had arrived. Mother and daughter were doing fine. It was only May, 2006, but the celebrity baby of the year had arrived.
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Come on, think back — the buildup to the birth of Shiloh Nouvel, the virtual takeover by the Jolie-Pitts of the African nation of Namibia (which has since fallen back into relative obscurity), the absolute fawning by an international press corps over every move Angelina made, over every gesture and word… Can we all live through it once again?
It’s official — the latest addition to Angelina Jolie’s and Brad Pitt’s family, Pax Thien, who was adopted by Jolie from Vietnam in March, is 
 
 
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born April 18, 2006, edged out Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt, daughter of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, born May 27, as the most popular celebrity baby name that was searched for on Yahoo! during the past year.
plans to ask her British pal, actor Rupert Everett, to be godfather to her sort-of adopted son David. Setting aside the international furor over David’s bungled adoption, which has caused Madonna to schedule an Oprah appearance to explain everything, the choice of Everett is misguided.
Madonna needs to rethink this one. I’m sure her buddy Everett is a nice person deep down, but when it comes to celebrity babies, he is seriously misguided. And the role of godfather to little David Banda is just too important, and too high-profile, to be left to an amateur. It’s really a job for Brad Pitt or Tom Cruise.
